Show, don’t tell – and you’re on the way to great creative writing!

SHOW, DON’T TELL

We have been working on show, don’t tell. Students had to describe a setting that they are in, using the concept of ‘Show, Don’t Tell’.

From the descriptions given, can you work out where the students are?

I walk past the wet and damp ferns that feel like they are trying to grab you, but the fronds tickle. I can hear the splashing water from the waterfall. I touch the hard and sharp wood on the trees and can feel the edgy, ruffling grass. I feel rocks from the ground clogging under my shoes. I can hear the roaring of big and fierce tigers and the snakes hiss when they sneakily slither around.

Cecilia S.

The sea song of the waves soothed me. Squabbling seagulls flew overhead. I could see dolphins flipping into the air like crackling popcorn. I caught the sea breeze on my face and smelled the tangy salt spray. I can see the striped and flowered towels strewn across the sand and covered water bottles, coolers and sand toys. Walking along the shore, I watched the small kids making sand castles while their parents snapped pictures. Looking at the sky, I realised it was time to head back. I picked up a shell along the way.

Preiscilla N.

Swish! BOOM! I woke up and saw hot, bubbling and orange lava. I heat was immense. There was smoke in the air and as all that boiling hot lava flowed past me, I heard loud shrieking. I took a quick look at the valley below, magma was everywhere. It looked like there had been some sort of eruption, but how?

Olivia M.

I stumble through the long grass, fighting my way through huge draping vines. I see monkeys swinging from branch to branch. I hear lions roaring in the bushes and I watch zebras galloping around the trees. I inhales the scent of trees and rain as piercing screeches surround me. “Ee-ee-eeeeeee”.

Olivia N.

I see water splashing and kids running with excitement. I smell salty hot chips and I feel sticky from the dripping icy-poles. Time to go home with my soggy towel.

Mikayla D.

It was as hot as the sun. I was in a t-shirt and board shorts. I could see the pyramids in the distance. There were a few people carrying a tomb which had a picture of pharaoh on it.

Toby L.

This place is very dry. Sand is everywhere. It is extremely hot. There is no water whatsoever and nothing grows here except for cactus. There are no animals except for snakes, scorpions and lizards.

It is so cold and the wind is blowing. I sometimes shiver with the cold. I am high in the sky and the clouds feel so close that I feel that I could touch them. When I talk, my voice echoes.

Scarlett A.

Kids run and splash around. Parents are nearby, tanning under the sun beaming down. Lifeguards are watching and waiting for someone who might be drowning. There is just one little statue of a mermaid.

Peyton C.

It is scorching hot and I am sweating my face off. I am hoping to find an oasis soon. I am shaking so horribly because I can hear the hiss of a rattle snake nearby.

Lexi B.

Finally the bus came to a stop. I was told where my cabin was. I could see people canoeing.

Scarlett I.

There is long grass everywhere which means that there could be snakes. There are no houses and hills. A lot of animals live here. There are flowers big and small.
Tom M.

This place is cold, dark and full of bats. It is so bumpy and the different openings lead to different places. The bat’s squeaks echo into the darkness. The more I look, the more cobwebs I see.